I thought it was enough. Then, it struck me. I was still empty.

For eighteen years, I lived a “good” life, just enough for people to say that I’m an obedient daughter, a nice friend and an excellent student. Seeing the good impressions everywhere, I continued to walk the same way everyday. I came to believe that what I was actually doing was enough for the Lord to be pleased.Yes, I did follow His commandments (and I still do). He was my only God to whom I pray to every morning and every night. I did obey and respect my parents. I read the Bible. I did also attend the service every Sunday. “Ok, it’s enough,” I told myself. “I’m doing just fine.” Yet, as I grew up, I felt something lacking in my life.  

My first assumption was respect. There were people around me who told me I was weak. I wasn’t good enough. They criticized me physically. It felt like nobody believed in me. 

These caused me to persevere, to be the best in almost everything. I desired to show the world how great I am.

I did turn out to be the “great” person I wanted. I became one of the top students. I had high positions in different organizations. I excelled in even in dancing. I became admired and awed. 

I was considered as one of the best. Yet again, I still felt something was missing. I thought I was going to be happy up there. Sadly, nobody dared join me. I was alone. 

Then, later, I desired company. My friends I’ve known seemed to be distant. “I believe, I need more than just respect. It’s love.” Finally, I knew what I truly desire. Yes, it was love. I already realized what was missing in  my life, yet again and again, another misconception. I searched in the wrong place. I thought I could find it in people - humans who are as sinful as I am. From time to time then, I get hurt and disappointed. I expected much from them that I forgot how imperfect mere humans are. I realized, subsequently, I was looking for perfect and genuine love.

In the verge of my search for true love, a PSALM member, who is also a friend of mine, invited me in their CCl or caring Circle Lesson. It was interesting to me. Thus, I joined. Then came the day we begun. The first lesson hit me with the truth. The topic was entitled “A New Life”. It was like an arrow that pierced through my heart. 

I felt so blessed in the 19th year of my life here on earth, for it was the year when I was born again, through the Lord’s instrument in the PSALM ministry. how amazing it was when the God opened my eyes to the love He longed to show me. 

How joyful I was to finally find what I was looking for. It can only be found at the Lord’s feet near the cross where Jesus’ blood was shed for me.  

It is where one losses His old self, yet receives the gift of eternity with promises waiting to fulfill. It was a brand new life that I’ve found through His unfailing love. The emptiness I felt was placed with contentment. He filled me with joy, peace and assurance every day. It was the end of my search, and the beginning of my life. 

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Eunice Libante is PSALM Koronadal Student Leader. She is now on her 5th year, Civil Engineering Student of Notre Dame of Marbel University.